-John P. Getty
LANDLORD: HEY RENTER, I'M HERE TO POST THIS EVICTION NOTICE, SINCE YOU'RE SEVERELY LATE ON RENT.
RENTER: WHAT?? I'M ONLY A FEW WEEKS LATE! THINGS HAVE BEEN BAD, YOU KNOW THIS. MY WIFE HAD SURGERY AND I GOT LAID OFF. (This is why you have an emergency fund, which covers your health insurance premium and/or if you got laid off.)
LANDLORD: SO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY JOB NOW?
RENTER: I FOUND ANOTHER JOB, BUT IT DOESN'T PAY ENOUGH. (Which is code for enough to live here)
LANDLORD: HOW LONG AGO DID THIS HAPPEN?
RENTER: ABOUT A MONTH AGO. (And you're just fucking telling me now?!?!?). I WON'T BE ABLE TO PAY YOU THE FULL AMOUNT. PROBABLY ABOUT $200 A MONTH LESS.
LANDLORD: WELL YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIND A CHEAPER PLACE TO LIVE OR CUT EXPENSES.
RENTER: EVERYTHING I MAKE GOES RIGHT OUT THE DOOR NOW ANYWAY. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO CUT.
LANDLORD: I KNOW YOU SMOKE, BECAUSE I CAN SMELL IT ON YOU AND I'VE SEEN YOU DOING IT. YOU SHOULD STOP.
RENTER: THAT'S MY BUSINESS.
LANDLORD: YOU'RE NOT PAYING FOR A BASIC NECESSITY OF LIFE, WHICH I PROVDE, SO NOW IT'S MY BUSINESS. YOU ALSO HAVE CABLE BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME ABOUT YOU HAD TO GO YELL AT THE CABLE COMPANY SINCE IT TOOK THEM A MONTH TO COME HOOK IT UP. YOU SHOULD CUT THAT ALSO.
RENTER: I HAVE TO HAVE THAT IN ORDER TO ENTERTAIN THE KIDS. (I wonder what kids did before TV...oh that's right, they played and did chores to help their parents out.)
LANDLORD: IS YOUR WIFE LOOKING FOR A JOB?
RENTER: NO SHE HAS TO STAY HOME WITH THE 4 KIDS. (WTF?? They use to only have 3!!)
LANDLORD: CONGRATULATIONS ON THE NEW BABY. (Not really he can't afford 4 kids) YOU SHOUL ALSO HAVE A GARAGE SALE SINCE YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BOXES THAT YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVEN'T USED THOSE ITEMS IN THE YEAR THAT YOU'VE LIVED HERE. YOU COULD PROBABLY GET A $1000 FOR ALL THAT STUFF.
RENTER: NO WE NEED THAT FOR THE KIDS. WHEN WE MOVE INTO A BIGGER PLACE WE'LL UNPACK IT. (Notice the delusional mentality)
LANDLORD: WELL YOU NEED TO MOVE, BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO YOU CAN MAKE THE LIFESTYLE CHANGES THAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT. YOU CAN SAVE $165 A MONTH BY SMOKING, $50 A MONTH IN CABLE, AND THEN AN AVERAGE OF $83 A MONTH WHEN YOU SELL ALL YOUR CRAP THAT'S TAKING UP SPACE. OR YOU COULD USE THAT $1000 TO START AN EMERGENCY FUND. THAT'S $215 TO $300 A MONTH. AND JUDGING BY THE PIZZA BOXES AND BEER BOTTLES IN THE RECYCLING BIN. YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP DRINKING AND EATING OUT. THAT'S ANOTHER $100 A MONTH.
RENTER: WELL THAT'S HOW I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE.
LANDLORD: I KNOW. HERE'S THE EVICTION NOTICE. I NEED YOU OUT IN A WEEK UNLESS YOU CAN COME UP WITH THE REST OF THE MONEY. TGIF!
When I help people with their finances. I can almost always find flaws in their spending or income habits. If you follow basic rules of personal finance, like the Amish, you should be able to weather many storms. Not everything because life can simply be overwhelming, but much more than what the average American endures. The above dialogue is a prime example.